Yukio Mishima

After a long time, I read a book from start to finish over a single night, and want to quickly get me thoughts in before I start my day.  

Finished reading Temple of the Golden Pavilion and while I can't say it's my favourite Mishima, it's still one of his best imo. One of the things I love about his writing is how he captures the inner monologues of his characters with such simplicity. And all his plots have this quality of the monologue interacting with the outside world. He is one of the first authors I've read who does that and in a way it strikes me as a very realistic way to portray a person. 

The obsession, rage, repulsion and contempt of Mizoguchi is equal parts fascinating and revolting to me. In some sense I find him more visceral than Raskolnikov even. ( Full confession - thought Rodya was a total idiot ) Actually  maybe he is more like Smerdyakov if I think about it. His desire to destroy beauty because he is so possessive he would rather be the one to damage it than allow anyone else to have it plays well into Smerdyakov's character too. Come to think of it, I need to read Shakespeare and check out how Iago is written. I have a feeling he would be similar. 

I don't exactly resonate with his obsession with beauty, so I definitely don't understand parts of the novel especially their style of sexuality which idk seems to have repression and voyeurism in equal parts. But I'm guessing that's a culture disconnect for me more than anything. 

To me, Mishima is in the vein of Dostoevsky ezpz. But from what I read about him, he was an oddball too and his later years had some very sketch actions. Still, I guess people are more than the worst things they do and you can be clever and a turd at the same time. 

Oh well, time to round this off. 

I really hope I find more books that fascinate me and compel me to read them obsessively the way I used to as a kid. That one summer at granny's I spent reading 2 Enid Blytons a day round the clock with no sleep was deffo the best summer of my life. I remember how confused that librarian was cuz he thought I was just checking books out lol. Whereas I had a calendar marked down to the end of holidays and I had counted the number of Blytons I needed to read a day so I don't miss out on even one from his collection. Lol. I was such a weirdo. He still remembers me for that, and never fails to tell me this whenever I visit. 

Maaaan, it's been years and I haven't had that feeling of total immersion and I miss it so damn much!