Day 10 - Your views on drugs and alcohol

On Drugs:

I have a fear of most drugs and I am fairly certain I wouldn't do any of them, especially the hallucinogens. Losing control of my senses has never had any appeal to me. I'm afraid I'd do something stupid and silly and that's not a cat I want out of the bag. I have known people who have been coke heads and have done heroine and it's ugly. The instability, the loss of reasoning power, it's just terrible. I have seen them show streaks of violence and I am dead sure that life around addicts would be very painful. 

However, there is one drug I am curious about:  DMT. And I would do it the minute I get my hands on it. Unlike hallucinogens and other stuff, DMT has very specific results and is touted as a gateway to an alternate reality. And that is something I am very very curious about.

Other than that, only weed and hash are what I am comfortable with. :)

Alcohol:

Just say no. :)

When I first started drinking I felt like I was embracing freedom and adulthood in equal measure and the ride was very thrilling. But then slowly, I realised that alcohol can be a slippery slope. I slowly recognised a pattern of behaviour that started emerging when I was drinking and I started to hate who I was becoming when I was on it.

Somewhere around 2011 I quit drinking the hard stuff for good. This was after a very very terrible call I had where I said a lot of nonsense. Vulnerability coupled with confusion and sadness just made me vomit out words that no sane person should say. I felt very disgusted and decided on the spot to quit, which I did.

A few years later, the same friend showed up blind drunk to my house and insisted we go for a drive and for some reason I said yes. That was the most terrified I have ever been in a car. I thought I was going to die and at every turn I was scared we would crash into something. Plus my friend seemed very unstable that night. He tried to fight when I suggested we spend time on my terrace instead and I felt like I had to keep him calm otherwise things would get ugly. I was also afraid to leave him alone when he was so high, he is extremely reckless and I wouldn't have ever forgiven myself if something ended up happening to him that night.

So yeah, bad decisions all around due to alcohol!

I guess quitting social drinking isn't exactly possible in our friend circles, so instead I make sure I either drink dilute cocktails or beer or just order mock tails when no one is looking :)