Life should be lead simply and well. I must have had to remind myself of this a lot more than I needed to before hehe. Well, it's okay. Let's just look forward to building something nice. Whatever hurt and sadness I've felt, I'm gonna let it go now. I reread the thing I wrote and it was so filled with negativity man. From the sreya thing to all else actually... just... lol. I don't think I've actually had so much negativity towards someone before and it's not good. I realise it stems from me feeling like I've been used and done wrong by, and I have. I think it's by far the shittiest way I've ever been treated in my life. But if statements like... 'He is a like a sociopath, doesn't care about people can't fake it, and is like a Trump supporter ideologically' are starting to seem real then it's time to get some distance and reassess. 

It was cruel the way he treated me. Cruel to dismiss my feelings and cruel to say that sorry I was sleeping line on top of it. It does show zero care and concern. 

All in all, I'm not dealing with all this or catering to any manipulations. Learn to treat people well. Or don't. But it honestly just sucks to see someone have all the bad qualities of andro and none of the good ones of andro that atleast temper it. He atleast is a caring soul. Never thought a day would come where I would esteem even him higher than someone but wow. It's all sooooo childish and lame tbh. Even getting Sreya to delete her comments and follow of that insta like really? Lmao. How sad that he needs to do all this. And the worst thing I realised there was that he didn't follow her until then so must be hiding it same as he doesn't with me. Might be some weird pattern of behavior. So shady yo. 

Anyway, blah. I'm not cut out for duplicity like this nor am I catering to it or any manipulations. If it's honestly so hard for him to have normal conversations then only a therapist can help him here cuz these are not issues I can help with. Not making room for shady behaviour anymore. If he can level up, great. If he can't, then fine. Idc. 

Gonna keep my boundaries a lot tighter, and just stick to my own ethos. Fuck everything else. 

~

Heh. Sad part is I think I'm this angry and annoyed cuz I genuinely did care about that asshole. And it's just... it suuuucks to realise that he might be worse than andro like come onnnn you can't really behave so poorly that even that guy clears you by a wide margin. Yuck. 

Well, I guess if the anger goes away it'll just mean that I don't give a shit also. So gotta wait till then maybe, once I'm indifferent completely, none of this will matter. How tragic that I have to wait for that. Lol. Just holding out for some far chance that I'm wrong and he isn't like those guys but seriously who knows anymore.