Niceness and Narcissists

Are some people so insecure that reaching out first seems like an exercise in humiliation for them? I was wondering about this lately. Like is it really worth tanking something for them because they find it this hard to be considerate? Or is it that being considerate isn't even something that occurs to them because they don't actually care about the other person at all? Maybe they look to just squeeze some validation out of them? And you'd rather be alone than initiate a conversation by yourself? It's fascinating. Weird asf, but fascinating.

I recall my rebound A from a few years ago and how he used to give me silent treatment when he got offended over something random ( "how else will you learn?"), couldn't take responsibility for his behaviour, couldn't say sorry for anything to anyone, hell he even refused to make plans with me or anyone else but would instead wait to be called because someone saying no seemed like the end of the world to him. He would try and act aloof and businesslike because in some childish way he thought it made him come across as important as opposed to comical and cringe.

It was my first glimpse into the mind of a narcissist and while it was toxic asf, I had never imagined how painful their existence seems to be. When I compared how easy and free flowing my equations with my friends and acquaintances have been and contrast it with A's hypersensitivity over every random comment anyone ever makes, it just made me realise how truly pathetic and childlike and fear riddled the world of a narc is. 

Here's hoping A was the first and last of his kind that I come across, and everyone else just learns to grow the fuck up cuz it's about time.