From loving that lil kid's joy in that vid to knowing he just assaulted a woman. Wtf man. It actually just hurts. Am I being silly over something? Idk. Weird. I wanted to preserve that memory always inside a lil cocoon but then the stupid world has to show it's ugly side and yet. I guess fairy tales need not exist and that's okay. But what's bothering me here? Hmmmm. 

It's just knowing that someone that small and happy on that one day in the middle of a random game whose squeals made me adore the entire thing, a thing I would not have been aware of had I not chanced upon it soooo utterly randomly...like so many things had to align the way they did for me to see that and it was such a spontaneously happy reaction for me and now all I can imagine is some horrified teen having to deal with cops and what not and he probably is more afraid of what awaits him at home more than anything else. You know. Fuck his parents if they caused him this much stress. Fuck parents everywhere who are relentless in their desire to live out their dreams through their kids and fuck them for driving and abusing kids to this extent honestly. 

Hmmm. 

I hope that kid finds his way. I legit do. Nothing in life is so shattered that you can't fix it and I hope he can do so and just learn and do better. A kid is a kid at the end of the day and I hope he just rebuilds his life from here on out. It's important to learn to be your own support structure at times in life, but you have to. 

If I had one fucking super power, I used to think it'll be something cool like teleportation or flying but now I feel like the one true power would be the ability to sheild all kids from mental and physical harm and help them believe they can build a life they are proud of and happy with. Work hard, believe in yourself, but choose happiness whatever that is.

We live our lives in our heads, more than anything else. Carrying around negativity and bad thoughts is simply like not showering or something. It's just self harm. You are the one that feels the brunt of it the most. Robbing people of peace and happiness is such a crime, you just doom them to a lifetime of evil thoughts. So yeah, if I could... I would choose to shield them from this fate. Moments like the ones he is facing are the times when you need someone solid by your side...if nothing then just to give you hope and conviction that you can turn things around. I hope Yoo can find that in his life somehow. Don't know Yoo but wish the best for Yoo. Lol. Idk why I had to write that heh. 

I also feel weird writing down something honest knowing how childish and naive or silly or whatever it may come across as.  Do I need to worry about being judged? Shall I cloak myself? I know that inner me is very idealistic and that makes me unrealistic at times but idc, you can always keep your own monologues adhering to what you feel is true. But sharing that self with someone else feels weird cuz I've never done it before. 

Nay ✋💀