Listening

To this

She sings:

I still try to forget Rheya
She’s flooding her bloodstream every time I close my eyes
Disappear, why won’t you leave?
I was never meant to see you here

I still try to forget Rheya
As she cries at the ocean that gave her life
Touch me just one last time
I don’t want to remember this life

There was a time I might have looked for me in this rhythm, and maybe even the lyrics. The guitar would have struck a cord. The emotions would have been seductive. I'd have loved to imagine my lover and me, possibly in a haze of something, connecting and disconnecting. Both held the promise of depth, each time either finding a new high or a new low, by turns maybe? But now I feel like that need is very faint. Maybe I have come too far from who I used to be. I'm not sure when I turned the corner, it was so gradual. 

I think music is the best way to plot your emotional progress. You know the person you used to be by listening to the music that made you sway. This is coming up on my playlist now, and I find my fingers doing that weird thing they do when I love a certain sound. Love.