Often times, I have wondered about the nature of advice, both from the point of view of the one who seeks it and the responsibility of the one who gives it. In seeking advice, you put a person in a position of power, and in giving advice you are in the position to change someone's course.
I remember that time, forever ago, when you called me. You were agitated, lost and in need of a point of view - or maybe just someone who would listen. You were worried about the state of your relationship, and how to move forward. Seemingly there were a lot of obstacles in your path. I distinctly remember noticing the irony of that situation: that you would choose to ask me, the person so in love with you - to help you decide the fate of your relationship. (How abso-fuckin-lutely fantastic! Ask me more wonderful questions like this, why don't you? *eyeroll*)
I felt that horrid sinking feeling, the one where you feel as if a giant rock is slowly settling down somewhere in your body, making time seem sluggish. Lots of voices erupted in my head.
Voice 1: "Get out! Now! Wtf, he crazy brah, cut the call. Omg what a douchebag, how can heee? Tell him to die, just do it. Lololol. That would be so funny."
Voice 2: "Fuck, you are so screwed. Haha"
Voice 3: "Guys stfu, this will soon be over and you can drown yourself in something mundane"
Voice 4: "Damn, sorry about this! But you gots to be honest, he probably wouldn't ask you if he had someone else to go to. Do what's right. Also: Asshole."
I chose to listen to Voice 4 and give you my most objective opinion - if you feel like you can make it work, and it makes you happy, you should go for it.
V1: "Take her to the altar and fucking marry her right now, Imma just cry here, don't mind me."
V2: "What a completely shitty and bitter pill to swallow. This is like eating one of those green colour lemons, peel and all. Bet even they taste better than this shit. Ugh."
V3: "Gaandu"
Many years have passed since this conversation, but I always wonder if I did the right thing or was I just stupid? In trying to be principled, did I undermine my own feelings in the bargain? I don't know for sure. My best consolation is that atleast I did what I felt was in alignment with my feelings at the time. If I had a do-over, I'd probably say the same thing again.
This is one of those annoying instances where I had to let myself endure pain for the sake of upholding a principle. Words and suggestions have the power of changing people's minds. I strongly feel that if you somehow find yourself in a position of influence in someone's life, then you should use that power altruistically and for their benefit, not yours.
V1: "Why do I feel this way?"
V2: "God fucking knows."
V1: "Do I wish it were different?"
V2: "Ofcourse! Yes! Duuuuh!"
V1: "Really? I mean reeeeaaally?"
V2: "Stfu"
V1: "Lolol. Lemoooons."
I remember that time, forever ago, when you called me. You were agitated, lost and in need of a point of view - or maybe just someone who would listen. You were worried about the state of your relationship, and how to move forward. Seemingly there were a lot of obstacles in your path. I distinctly remember noticing the irony of that situation: that you would choose to ask me, the person so in love with you - to help you decide the fate of your relationship. (How abso-fuckin-lutely fantastic! Ask me more wonderful questions like this, why don't you? *eyeroll*)
I felt that horrid sinking feeling, the one where you feel as if a giant rock is slowly settling down somewhere in your body, making time seem sluggish. Lots of voices erupted in my head.
Voice 1: "Get out! Now! Wtf, he crazy brah, cut the call. Omg what a douchebag, how can heee? Tell him to die, just do it. Lololol. That would be so funny."
Voice 2: "Fuck, you are so screwed. Haha"
Voice 3: "Guys stfu, this will soon be over and you can drown yourself in something mundane"
Voice 4: "Damn, sorry about this! But you gots to be honest, he probably wouldn't ask you if he had someone else to go to. Do what's right. Also: Asshole."
I chose to listen to Voice 4 and give you my most objective opinion - if you feel like you can make it work, and it makes you happy, you should go for it.
V1: "Take her to the altar and fucking marry her right now, Imma just cry here, don't mind me."
V2: "What a completely shitty and bitter pill to swallow. This is like eating one of those green colour lemons, peel and all. Bet even they taste better than this shit. Ugh."
V3: "Gaandu"
Many years have passed since this conversation, but I always wonder if I did the right thing or was I just stupid? In trying to be principled, did I undermine my own feelings in the bargain? I don't know for sure. My best consolation is that atleast I did what I felt was in alignment with my feelings at the time. If I had a do-over, I'd probably say the same thing again.
This is one of those annoying instances where I had to let myself endure pain for the sake of upholding a principle. Words and suggestions have the power of changing people's minds. I strongly feel that if you somehow find yourself in a position of influence in someone's life, then you should use that power altruistically and for their benefit, not yours.
V1: "Why do I feel this way?"
V2: "God fucking knows."
V1: "Do I wish it were different?"
V2: "Ofcourse! Yes! Duuuuh!"
V1: "Really? I mean reeeeaaally?"
V2: "Stfu"
V1: "Lolol. Lemoooons."
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